'Beanstalk, that sales contractor you were in touch with finally sent their first draft of the ad copy!' 'Nice! Lemme have a look!' Thank you for choosing the 'All-You-Crabs-Eat' smart metal crab feeder! This device uses cutting-edge smart technology to solve any issue you may run into while raising metal crabs. Racked with worry that you can't tend to your crabs while away from home? Afraid that ordinary feeders could incubate harmful bacteria that will affect your crabs? Well, worry no more! The 'All-You-Crabs-Eat' offers your crabs a nutritionally balanced diet, all pre-portioned according to the latest science! 'Sounds good, but what's this 'cutting-edge smart technology'?' 'Oh, I asked Mayer to help with the computer interface stuff. In return, I lent her Peacake to help her develop a biomimetic intelligent partner.' 'I see...' If you're using this device for the first time, please follow the illustrated instructions to assemble the feeder and food barrel, then use the touchscreen to complete your device's basic setup. The 'All-You-Crabs-Eat' offers three preset feeding schedules, and can support up to ten additional custom schedules. And if you can't bear to miss the wonder of even a single feeding session, order our camera now and enjoy a 20% discount! 'A camera? Whose idea was that?' 'I thought of it during training! The instructors stuck some tiny cameras on crabs for a while to assess their combat abilities. So I figured I'd add something similar as an upgrade for the feeder! Cute pet videos are all the rage on Columbia's intercity net, you know!' Due to their omnivorous nature, we suggest setting the feeder to a single daily serving, with a serving size not exceeding 10% of the weight of your metal crab. The 'All-You-Crabs-Eat' supports freeze-dried feed, and requires no pre-crushing. We recommend using it with 'Beanstalk's Fine Metal Crab Feed,' launching alongside the feeder! With fifteen natural ingredients following a carefully developed formula, your crabs will be feasting like kings! Their pincers will grow stronger! Usage instructions: 1. Do not feed children with this device. 2. Place the device on a level surface to avoid spillage. 'P.S. While setting up your feeding schedule, please remove your metal crab from the room. Some breeds are extremely intelligent, and may learn to use the feeder.' 'I-Is that really true?' 'Of course. That's how Peacake did. And if I'm not careful, she'll invite all her buddies over for a buffet.'